We All Hate Global Warming I (Just for fun lemme know what you think)

We All Hate Global Warming I
By: Alex Lee

Today we all see the world as being something that is going to end, but in fact to quote George Carlin “The world isn’t going anywhere, WE ARE!!!” Now ask yourself what could possibly cause such damage to the environment sure wasn’t God, I mean he was the one who made this little blue green ball floating in space, those cow farts, burps and dung don’t seem to do much damage to the environment or our world would be some barren dessert or something, well if we have ruled out those guys then it must be us so WE did this to OURSELVES. And so we go “SAVE THE PLANET” then after protesting for about five hours we get in a car turn the engine on, turn the AC on and “SAVE THE PLANET” by taking a nap in a car that gives out more green house gasses than a few cows can farting, burping and taking dumps. Speaking of cars scientists now are developing more efficient gasses to power our cars and produce LESS green house gasses, well we don’t need less green house gasses we need no green house gasses. So if you can actually make a car that’s powered by water and spews out oxygen, or better powered by carbon dioxide and spews out oxygen, I suggest we stick to the old fashioned way of walking or taking bicycles, and the only other way we can actually help our environment is by killing ourselves, we did this to our world anyway.

Here’s one other thing we can do to “SAVE THE PLANET” stop using paper, for every 33 sheets of paper we use we destroy I don’t know how much of a tree. That’s how unappreciative we are of them; they have been restoring our oxygen supply for how long? The answer to that is since God made this awesome piece of planet, and to show how appreciative we really are, we write on paper made of trees. Oh yea they sure love being written on, especially since we also use them for furniture. Here’s two things most of us do to trees that would seriously make them pissed first off fire wood, oh yea we like that now don’t we burning them to keep ourselves warm. And the last and biggest thing that trees would seriously be pissed off at us for, TOILET PAPER. That seriously pisses them off, imagine you minding your business making Earth a more livable place and suddenly some nut job with a chain saw comes and goes “This one’s big enough, cut it down.” And soon you feel as though you lost your footing and you fall down, the next thing you know some kid at school is doodling on you realizes he stank at it throws you away and then you get recycled. (As a student who also doodles I have no objection against doodling, the difference is I doodle on half used working paper.) By now you should be some sort of pulp again wondering what your fate would be and believe me it is not a good one, after a few hours you wake up as a thinner sort of paper on a card board roll thinking oh this should be good I have some company and you start talking to the tube of card board. Soon enough you end up in a place any paper that used to be a tree would dread a toilet, the lucky ones get some toilet in a house others in public toilets, not so lucky. So anyway you go on talking to the tube of card board and some guy comes in, drops his/her pants and starts taking a dump. You are disgusted by the smell and suddenly he/her reaches out and yanks at you, you scream as you are slowly being stripped of life and a bit of you is ripped from your original roll. That little bit is going to wipe the crap from the human’s ass hole and screaming in disgust and pain you wish you were being doodled on. Now had God made plants and trees moving communicating creatures, they would be so pissed there would be a war against humans and we would have died out earlier. The message of this is mainly appreciate and respect plants and trees I will attempt to make more in future, but enjoy this for now.